In Omnia Paratus
by Lisablackroses
Summary: After five years Rose returns back to the academy. But not as a student, no, as a teacher! And she will not be the only one! An old friend from the past will return and find out if Rose can be happy with the way her life turns out to be!
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome to my first multi-chapter fanfic. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoy writing it. Please follow/favorite and review.**

It has been five years since the attack at the academy. I can remember it like it was yesterday. Everything we did that night. And even the rescue. But it wasn't enough. It wasn't enough to save her. We lost a few people. But most of all. We lost the last Dragomir. We lost Lissa. Sweet, sweet Lissa. I would do everything to go back and give my life for hers. But I can't. And I wouldn't be the only one. I see Dimitri struggling every day. Eddie never forgave himself for not saving her. He keeps blaming himself that the survived it in the caves, but Lissa didn't. But most of all, Christian. I am worried. He left after graduation and I never heard about him again. I tried. But he doesn't want to be found. We all grief about the loss of a friend. I, myself, am struggling every day without Lissa. When she died the bond between us broke. And it left a hole in me. I can't find the words to describe it. It's like a part of me is missing.

After we graduated we all went separate ways. I pushed Dimitri away from me. Blaming myself for the dead of Lissa. Just like he blamed himself. We stayed together until I graduated. But after it we just couldn't stand to be together without remembering her. We broke up and he went back to Russia. I've heard that he became a guardian at St. Basils. After he lost two of his charges they didn't know what to do with him anymore. So they placed him at the academy in Siberia. I think it's a bad place for him. He doesn't belong to be an academy guardian. As the God he was, he could at least be teaching them stuff. But they doesn't allow him. I guess I followed him better than I thought. I still haven't forget about him. He was my first true love. And I still love him. Even after all these years. I guess I was stupid for breaking up with him.

Eddie disappeared after graduation as well. But he went on a suicide mission to kill as many as strigoi as he could find. What I heard about it, it were a lot of strigoi. After three years he was still alive. Thank God. After that he came to court and he is a guardian to a Badica lord. I spoke to him when he came back. But the Eddie we all knew is completely gone. He took it hard when Mason died. But it isn't compared to the loss of Lissa. He was Lissa's guardian for the field experience. And after all, he saw her as his first charge. He was like Dimitri when I first met him.

Christian went to live with his aunt Tasha after graduation. She still live in the human world and so does he. I don't know what he does in his life. I tried to visit him a couple times, but he disappears before I get to see him. Tasha says that it is because I remind him of her. And he isn't over her. She told me that Lissa was the light of his life. And I get that. Before her he hide in the church attic all the time. After he and Lissa became a couple he was more social. At least to us. I still see him as a brother. And I hope that someday we can talk again.

Adrian went back to court as soon as he could. He is determined to find more information about spirit. He says that he owns it to Lissa. He still smokes and drinks. But he doesn't drink as much as he did. I talk to him every week. He travels a lot to find more information. He is the one that keeps me updated about Dimitri. He goes to the academy's twice a year. He teach students and teachers about spirit. And stays a little longer as the academy has a new spirit user. He even writes books about it. I guess that even Adrian isn't the same anymore.

And me? Well, at the moment I am a guardian at court. They don't know what to do with me. So they place me where they need me. And at the moment. They don't need me anywhere. So I'm stuck here. After graduation I went to court with all my fellow students. The moroi who needed a new guardian could request who they wanted. Nobody wanted me as their guardian. I guess that they all blamed me for the dead of the last Dragomir. They assigned me first at court, but then this guy showed up. Abe Mazur. Guess what. He is my father. He talked me into his business and now I chores for him. Picking up stuff and bring it back to him. Nothing illegal. But it pays well.

**So, this was chapter one. I used this chapter more to explain a little to what happened to the charachter in those five years!**


	2. Chapter 2

**This is chapter 2. Enjoy!**

It is Monday morning and I spent the last four days traveling for Abe. I hate Monday mornings. But they are a lot worse when you didn't sleep well. I drag myself out of bed and dress in a yoga pants and tank top. It's time to run a couple miles. I do it every morning. I guess that something of Dimitri's training never left. I have meeting later today with Hans. The head of the guardians. I hope that he finally found a place for me. After five years traveling and never calling a place home it is about time.

But first, I have to clear my head. I put on some music and start stretching. The last four days I didn't had the time to exercise and I missed it. I spend every morning running in the woods around court and every night fighting in the gym. Sometimes with others and if there isn't anyone around than I start my own program. It works and it keeps me fit. I head to the woods and keep running.

After I finished running I head toward my apartment. They gave me a little apartment in the guardian house holding. I still live out of my suitcase. Ready to leave in a couple of seconds if needed. I take a quick shower and go on my way to the meeting with Hans. A little nervous for what he has to say. I arrive at the guardian headquarters. Hans is already waiting at me. I'm late. As usually. We go to his office and sit down.

'Guardian Hathaway. I am pleased to say that we have finally found a permanent spot for you.' Hans said with a small smile. A permanent spot. That sounds like a dream for me. I've spent the last five years traveling and without a home. Can I finally call a place my home? Where would it be? Whose guardian will I become?

'Who's my new charge?', I ask with a small voice. I'm beginning to become a little nervous now. The look in his eyes change and I'm afraid for what he will say next.

'Not who, but where.', he says. I stay at court? Forever? Or, worse. Will I be sent away to an academy? No, no. Everything, but that.

'Where?', I ask and feel the anger rising.

'You will be a guardian at St. Vladimir.', he says and he prepares for a fight. My mind brings me back to when I left the place. I've called it home for so long. But after Lissa's dead it wasn't my home anymore. The most important person in my life wasn't around anymore. So, when I thought that be sent away to an academy was the worst thing that could happen. It wasn't. It is sent away to St. Vladimir. Again. But this time, it isn't my mother who sent me away. No it is my boss.

'You will not only become a guardian. Guardian Alto has taken an offer to become a guardian to a Conta lord. So there need to be another teacher. But don't worry about that. You will have a partner back at the academy.', he says and he looks like he wants to run away as quick as possible. Me? A teacher? Are they mad? I hated school. Wait, a partner? If need to teach students how to kick some ass I don't want someone to tell me what I can and can't do.

'Who's my partner?', I ask. Ready to prepare for the worst thing that's possible.

'I don't know guardian Hathaway. You will hear it when you arrive at the academy. There's a plain ready for you and you will leave tonight at 2.', he says and leaves me in his own office. Wait? What? I will leave this soon? Well, it is a good thing that I life out of my suitcase. When I walk out of his office I am ready to run another couple of miles. Or to drink it all away. I've been sent away, back, to the place I wanted to forget about. So many things happened back there. Not all bad. But, oh, those bad things. They keep me awake every night. And still haunt me when I wake up. Now I need a drink.

I went straight to Adrians. I need to say goodbye to him and he has liquor. When I arrive I don't even mind to ring the bell. He never closes the door and I let myself in. after a little search through his house I find him sleeping on the couch. A stack of books are on the table and I know that he keeps himself up all night to fight the answers. Answers for his weird element. There a so many powers possible. But not every spirit user can do them all.

And it makes it even sadder that Lissa can't find out about her element. She started the project back at the academy. And now Adrian is burying himself in it. I want to leave him to sleep. But I know that I won't find another moment to say goodbye to him. So I wake him and he gives me a weak smile.

'Rose, what are you doing here so early?', he asks still sleepy. I chuckle and reminds him that it is already in the afternoon. I let him wake up and make some coffee for us both. I don't like coffee that much. But I know that we both need it. When he finishes his coffee I tell him what Hans told me. He stays quite for the entire time and even after I'm finished he stays quite. He waits for a couple of minutes and then he walks to his liquor cabinet. He pours something in a glass and hand it to me.

'You're gonna need it girl.' he says and I take a sip. It's very strong. I smile to him as he wraps his arms around me.

'You know that I will be right here for you, right? You only have to call me and I pack all my stuff and be on my way.' I lean closer to him and nod. I know that he will be right here for me. Adrian always is. And somewhere in the back of my head I know that he wants more. But he knows that my heart will always belong to Dimitri. I thought about it a couple times. To just try it out with Adrian. But it wouldn't be fair to him. To try to love him. He deserves someone who is able loves him.

**So, that was chapter two. I hope you like it so far. Please review and let me know what you thought about it! **

**One more thing. I will update this chapter once a week. Probably on saturday or sunday because I'm really busy the rest of the week.**


	3. Chapter 3

**So I was very excited when I saw a couple reviews and getting mails of people following and favorite this story! Here is chapter 3:**

We stayed together for a couple more hours and a couple of bottle's liquor. After it I hobbled home and throw my few belongings in the already packed suite case.

And now I'm standing at the grounds of the academy. Nothing had changed. I look at the primary school, it's were Lissa and I became friends. So many memories are here. All the nights we talked until the sun went down again. All the parties we went to and we could be just teenagers. All those times that I had to stand up for her. And of course, the moments she stood up for me. The place we left when we were only fifteen years old. And the moment we were brought back when we were 17.

I miss her so much. Her sweet smile and her kindness. The way she talked and even the way she walked. The jokes we made and even the times we cried. Well, mostly she cried and I ended beating up someone. Some people say that I should move on. Find a new friend and enjoy this life again. They saw me as Lissa's guardian and maybe as her friend. But after everything we were so much more. We were sisters.

After the dead of Lissa's parents and brother I was her only family. And she felt like my only family. Even besides that, we were bounded. Losing that bound was like someone cut of a limp of my body without anesthesia. She cared so much about me that she brought me back to this world. And I swore that I would die for her.

I touch the chotki that I still wear. I wonder what we would have done now when she was still here. I wonder if we were travelling like she always wanted. Or being stuck at some school because Lissa wanted to learn more. Or even at court, listening to those stupid royals. Hell, she could even be queen by now. Lissa could have done so much by now that it isn't even close to fair that she died that night. And I know that she fought with everything she had. They told me. But it wasn't enough. I let out a sigh and pick up my suit case. Let's face Alberta. Before I scare myself of off this place and go life with the humans.

'Rose, I'm so happy to see you again.' Alberta says and she gives me a hug. I hug her back. She was always like a mother than me. I smile to her and we sit down.

'I am glad that you said yes about my question to come work here.' She says and my smile drops. Question? Oh, stupid Hans. I could have said no. I could have stayed where I was and never come back to this place. But he said it like I didn't have any choice. I guess someone has to pay when I see him again. That is something nice to think about.

'Well, I didn't know that it was even a question. Hans told me yesterday and so I packed my stuff and went here.' I say and she gives me an apologizing look.

´I ordered Hans to ask you. To give you a change to chance your life you know. I know that you have only been traveling the last five years. You have called this place your home for all your life. I thought, maybe you wanted to come home.´ she explained. I stand up and hug her again. She is really looking after me like a mother. And maybe I should just give it a shot. I always thought that I couldn´t call it a home anymore after Lissa died. But there was more to it what made me call it home for me. Alberta was one of those persons that made the academy a home to me.

´You know, I just give it a shot okay? I will try it, for you. And it would be nice to unpack my suit case for once. I haven't done it in like three years. And you know. If it doesn't work out the way I wanted I could always become the next mobster.' I say and she laughs.

'You know it was kind of boring the past five years without you here. I had you around here for ten years and you came to my office at least once a week.' She says and that makes me laugh. We spent a couple hours of talking and catching up for the last five years.

After we finished our talking she showed me my room and I immediately collapsed on the bed. I slept for a couple of hours. When I woke up it was already in the afternoon for the moroi. So I went out to look for something to eat and walk a little around the academy. A lot of students are arriving today because school is starting the day after tomorrow.

I stopped again by Alberta's office to pick up my guarding schedule. I will be teaching five days a week so I only have to do a patrol on the weekends. And not even every weekend. So I won't be complaining about it. And now I'm walking around the borders. Just to be sure that they are still there. I walk by the little pond and the cabin.

My heart aches by the memory of everything. I try the door and notice that it still open, so I walk inside. Everything is just like we left it. The same sheets on the bed. A vase with fake flowers on the table. There is still a little casserole that we used to boil some water. It is so strange. This is the place that I lost my virginity. It is the place that we finally started a relationship. And it is the place that we broke up.

We went here a couple of times. To talk or to spend time together. Some nights we slept here, in each other arms. But after that one time we had never sex again. I miss him so much. And not only because I crave to be touched again of even held. But because who he is. His humor and his beautiful smile. His life zen lessons and his sexy accent. I even miss his duster and the way he could reread all his western books. I find myself listening to country music from time to time. I still don't like it. But it makes me think of him.

After spending a little more time in the cabin I finish my walking around the borders. I walk toward the moroi household. Adrian told me that they made a garden for Lissa. A memory for the last Dragomir. On the east side of the building there are large bushes covering an open space. You can only walk in on one side and there is a small sign. It says: 'In loving memory of the last Dragomir: Vasilisa Dragomir. A true princess, friend and leader.'. Well, it's true. But I don't think that many people knew how wonderful she really was.

In the middle of the garden is a large statue. It looks like Lissa, but the face isn't quite right. Yes, it looks like her. But the expression on the face is one that Lissa would never make. She looks likes she is better than everyone else. And well, Lissa would never feel like she is more than anyone. I have to say that it is a very nice place. There are a lot of flowers and grass. There are a couple of benches were you could sit. Lissa would have loved this place. I wonder who came up with it. When I left the academy this wasn't here.

I hear someone clear their throat and it drags me out of my thoughts. My mind goes blank and I spin around. 'Rose?' the person asks and it takes my breath away.

**I hope you guys had a nice Valentines day! And for the people who celebrate it: I hope you had/have a nice Carnaval!**

**Let me know what you thought of this chapter. And who you think will appear in the next chapter! **

**See you next Sunday!**


	4. Chapter 4

**So I want to thank everyone for their review! I have read every one of them and they all made me smile! And for the reviewers who were guessing who is standing there. You will get your answer in this chapter! Enjoy!**

I take in the view of the person standing in front of me. And my first thought is beautiful, so beautiful. In front of me stands Dimitri. He is even more beautiful than I can remember. My 6 foot 7 Russian. No Rose, not yours. His hair hangs loose around his face. He stills wears that stupid duster of him. I let my eyes roam over his body. His clothing style and hair hasn't changed much over the years. But his face, oh, he looks so much older. There are a lot more lines on his face. I wonder what made him look this much older.

But then I meet his eyes. Those beautiful eyes of him. They speak a whole story when I look at him. And I know that I am not the only one who hasn't forget about us. He smiles at me and open his arms for me. Without thinking I lunge forward, into his arms. I missed his strong arms so much. I take in a deep breath of his smell. Soon I realize what I am doing and my heart begins to ache. I can't do this. Not again. I push him away and look into his eyes. He looks hurt for pushing him away.

'What are you doing here?' I ask and he looks strange at me.

'I came here to teach Rose. I will be your partner. I thought you knew.' He says and my whole world falls apart. No, no. This can't be true. I can't be teaching with Dimitri. I can't be with him every day without dying. How am I supposed to be with him without thinking about what could have been? I walk away from him and sit down on one of the benches. After a couple of minutes Dimitri joins me.

'I didn't know. They said they needed me here at the academy so I went. But Hans wouldn't tell me who my partner was and I forgot to ask Alberta.' I say. What would I have done if I knew? Would I have stayed away? Knowing that I couldn't handle it. Or should I have been more eager to come, knowing that I would see him again. And even sitting with him is difficult. I want to reach out to him, hold him and kiss him. It feels so natural. But I don't want to have my heart broken again. Stop it, Rose. He has probably another girlfriend by now. Look at him, so beautiful. There is no way that someone like him stays single for such a long time. I, myself, have dated a couple of times. Not that it was satisfying. Because every guy I met let me know what I missed. Dimitri. I look up at him, seeing that he is miles away in his thought.

'What are you thinking about?' I ask. He looks down at me and smiles a sad smile.

'I just wished you knew. That you knew about us being partners and still wanted to come.' He says. I study him for a minute and nods. Knowing what he tries to say.

'Well, I will leave you. I was on my way to Alberta actually. I will see you around.' He says and gets up. I say a goodbye to him. Secretly wishing that he wouldn't leave this soon. When he is out of sight I lie down on the bench. How did I end up in this mess so soon?

I went to bed early that day. All that traveling is catching up with me and my body isn't happy with me in the moment. And after meeting Dimitri again my mind wouldn't stop spinning. He knew that I would be his partner and still chose to come here. Can it be…? No Rose. There must be another reason for him to come here. My mind can't stop about fantasizing about him. In my mind he would kiss me again and drag me back to his dorm like a caveman. I can feel the arousal between my legs and I know that I am in so much trouble. I only met him once again and I can't stop thinking about him. He is the only one I ever had sex with and that was only once.

I often have the feeling that I missed a huge part. But I know that I can't just sleep with someone. If I imagine having sex with someone there pops an image of a certain Russian in my head. I have to stop dreaming of him or I won't be able to teach with in the same room.

I am lying awake in my bed for half an hour. And I know that I wouldn't fall asleep anytime soon. I get up and put on my yoga pants and a tank top. Maybe running will help me to get my head clear. I have to do something before I will do something stupid. Like beg him to kiss me. Or more. Stop it Rose, you're twenty-three now. Not some teenager. You can control this. You are stronger than this. I put on some music and jog my way to the tracks. The sun is still shining. It feels so nice to my skin. Those stupid moroi days.

After my run I have finally the time to unpack my suit case. It makes me smile. It feels so good to unpack that damn thing. I packed the thing when I left the academy and I unpack it back at the academy. Ironic, really. When I left I wished that I never had to get back. And now, back at the academy, a part of me feels relieved. I guess that it is still home for me. And well, I grow a lot the past five years. I had to.

My whole life I pictured myself as Lissa's guardian. I never taught that she could be dead before we finished at the academy. I always thought that I would die for her. Saving her. But I couldn't save her that night. I still wish I could. And after her death I had to deal with the pain of losing her. And not only missing a friend. But I also lost the bond. From that moment on I had to fight the shadows that haunted me. I am still not sure what happened that night, but after that night the shadows were worse.

Adrian thinks it is because Lissa used so much spirit to try to save herself. He thinks that she killed herself in that moment instead of the strigoi. They found her in the cave with bite marks on her neck. But she had still blood in her. He thinks that I pulled all those shadows to myself in an attempt to save Lissa from them. I passed out in that moment and I woke up a couple of days later. Everyone looked at me like I could break at any moment. They didn't want to tell me that she died. But I already knew.

I never cried in front of anyone. Trying to be strong. I talked a lot with Adrian in that period. And it was the beginning from a very difficult time with Dimitri. We were still a relationship. And we still trained twice a day. But I locked him out. I didn't want him close. Didn't want to look weak in his eyes. I know now that I never looked weak in his eyes. He was very angry and irritated that I didn't let him in. We went on like that for a couple of months. I was trying to keep myself sane and not lose myself in the shadows. Adrian was trying to keep me positive and was even trying to heel me. And Dimitri was trying to push my walls down again.

I know it wasn't fair to build them up again after everything we went through. But I just tried to save myself. And after a huge fight we made it up to each other. I let him in again. I told him everything what was going on those months and we ended up crying. We made promises to each other what we would different and it made me happier than I had been in months. After that I spent more and more time with Dimitri again and the shadows seemed to fade. I graduated from the academy and we made plans for our future. Only a couple days after that Dimitri told me that he couldn't love me anymore and he broke up with me. He left before I could even say something. And after that it just all went wrong.

**So, this was chapter 4! I hope you enjoy it and will let me know what you thought about it!**

**I was so busy last week that I didn't have any time to write on this story. I am glad that I still have some chapters ready for updating with the little time I have these days.**

**Normally I go to school and I have all the time I can imagine. But since three weeks I have this intership for 40 hours a week and it's killing me. It is a great intership and I love everything about it. But I just don't have the time for myself anymore. Sadly :(.**

**So review and make me smile tomorrow morning when I get ready for another day. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5. Enjoy!**

'You're Rose Hathaway, right?' I hear a male voice say. I spin around and see a gorgeous man standing in front of me. Nothing like Dimitri. But he is still sexy as hell. He is taller than me. Well, that isn't so hard. He has dark hair in a short cut. Beautiful light blue eyes and the same skin color as mine. He smiles at me and in his left cheek is a dimple. It looks cute on him.

'Yes, I am. And you are?' I answer him. I am currently standing in Lissa's garden. I feel at peace when I am here.

'I am Mo Polat. Guardian at the academy. I arrived here four and a half year ago and I have heard a lot of you. So when they told me that you were back, I just had to see you.' He says and smiles at me. His eyes are sparkling. He sits down on one of the benches and I sit down next to him.

'It is nice to know that they haven't forgotten about me back here.' I say and smile. There is no way that the teachers and guardians could forget about me. I pulled so many tricks when I was still a novice. And of course the running.

'I don't think that they could ever forget you. Between you and me. I think that they missed you. It is a very boring job sometimes.' He admits. He moves and his arm touches mine for a moment, making me shiver. In moment he takes his jacket off and wraps it around my shoulders. A true gentleman. I smile my mane eater smile at him and thank him.

'You know, when I arrived her they were building this garden. I haven't know her, Vasilisa Dragomir. But from time to time I find myself sitting here in silent. Just enjoying the beauty of this all.' He says looking around.

'She was perfect.' I say. He looks at me. His eyes telling me he is curious.

'Tell me more, please. I heard a lot of you and that she was your were bonded. But they wouldn't talk about her.' He says. His eyes are kind and his face is open. He let me see his emotions. Something Dimitri never did. Rose, stop thinking about him.

'She was my best friend, my sister. I was her guardian before it happened.' I say looking at the statue of Lissa. I touch the chotki that I still wear around my wrist. I can feel the tears coming up in my eyes. Time to go back to my room. I stand up and smile to Mo.

'I'm going to go back to my room. I still haven't caught up with the time difference.' I say politely and he stands up immediately. He smiles at me.

'I will walk you back to your room.' He says. He is really a gentleman.

'You don't have to. I guess I know this academy better than you do.' I say and he laughs. His laugh is warm and deep. I fills me and makes me smile at him.

'Will I see you again?' he asks and I nod. He could be a good friend. I try to give his jacket back but he refuses it.

'I don't want you to get cold.' He says. I thank him and walk back to my room. Tomorrow classes will start.

* * *

'Good morning class. My name is guardian Hathaway and next to me is guardian Belikov. We will be your new teachers.' I say and smile politely. I hear whispering in the class in front of me.

'We will begin today with ten laps on the tracks outside and afterwards you will do a little combat training. That way we can see how far you are in your training.' Dimitri explains and he walks outside. I follow close to him and after me the class follows. When we are outside the group gathers around Dimitri and me. I let Dimitri talk again. He explains to them why running is such an important part of the basic skills of a guardian. The same thing he did to me when I had gotten mad because he only made me run. After Dimitri's talk the students begin to run and me and Dimitri stay behind.

'I remember how mad you were when all you do was run.' Dimitri says.

'Yeah, I remember.' I say. Trying to make this conversation to an end. I don't trust myself around him. There is this part of me that is so happy to be around him and it makes me feel alive again. But then there is that other part of me that is still heartbroken. I feel his eyes on me for a moment and then he is gone. He stands in the middle of the tracks an tries to give some students tips.

* * *

That week I spent most of my time trying to ignore Dimitri. I still wasn't sure what I should do about him. I want to be friends with him and that seems so simple. But I'm afraid for the feeling that are coming up now that I see him that much. How do you protect your heart from breaking. Again. I felt more alive in the last week that I have in the last five years. It's like my heart just stop beating after Dimitri left.

And now that he is back again, my hearts starts again. I can't even describe it. I'm just so happy at the moment that it is Saturday and I don't have to spend the day with him. He is still a very good teacher. Even in a bigger class. And because of some weird reason I enjoy teaching myself. It is nice to be teaching instead of being the student.

I've been so busy with teaching and trying to be a good teacher that I haven't had the time to exercise this week. So I have some to catch up with today. I put on my exercise clothes and start running towards the tracks. But even before I reach it I can see him. Dimitri. He is already running. I am thinking about turning and run into the woods, but before I can decide he notices me. He slows down and looks at me with a smile.

'Mind if I join you?' I ask and give him my man eater smile. He shakes his head an only moments later we run together. Sweet memories.

After we spent the last hour running we are both trying to catch our breath. The last couple laps were more like a competition. I won. I feel his eyes on me but I don't look up. I hear him breathe in sharply and I look up. But he isn't looking at me eyes. He is staring at my leg. I look down and see what he is looking at. My scars. I forget about them.

'Oh, Roza..' I hear him whisper. And in the next moment he has him arms wrapped around me. I don't even know if he tries to comfort me or is trying to comfort himself. Probably the last. I stand there for a moment. Enjoying myself before I pull myself apart from him.

'I don't need your comfort, Dimitri. Or anyone's pity. They are just scares. Nothing you haven't seen before.' I say and take a few steps back. Trying to create a little distance between us before I lung myself at him. But before I can take another step back and try to escape he is in front of me again. He grabs my wrists and pulls me inside the gym. He stares down at me.

'That are not just scares Roza. You can't fool me. You did that to yourself. Why?' he says. I am still trying to escape him but he has an iron grip on my wrists.

'Yes, I did it myself. Why do you even care? You left me Dimitri?' I say. I feel the tears welling up in my eyes. Stupid, stupid tears. I stare in his beautiful brown eyes. There is so much emotions in his eyes that I just can't look away. His lips crash down on mine. I hold back for a moment but then give myself over to his kiss. I can feel my thoughts leaving my mind and leaving me numb. He tries to put all his emotions in that kiss. And, wow, it feels so good.

He releases his grip on my wrists and wraps them around my waist. Pulling me closer to him. I wrap my arms around his neck. He traces his tongue over my bottom lips asking for permission. I open my lips for him and his tongue battles with mine. His hands roam over my body and find their way to my breasts. I moan loudly in his mouth. His lips leave my lips and he places open mouth kissed on my neck. I arch my back, trying to get closer to him. He says my name like a prayer. But then all the thoughts come rushing back inside my mind and I push him away. He looks hurt. It makes me even madder than I already was at him.

'You can't just kiss me and expect everything to be okay again, Dimitri. You broke my heart and left me. Even when you told me you never would. And these scars? You are the reason I have them in the first place.' I say angry at him and walk away. That last part wasn't completely fair of me. But he can't expect to come back in my life like that. Not after everything he did.

**So after last chapter I got this review from a guest. Saying that I should space my chapters a little more. And I could understand that. So I tried this. Please tell me what is better. The way this chapter is or the way the last chapters were?**

**An thank you for everyone who left a review after the last chapter! It made me very, very happy! Knowing that people are liking the story and want to read more! **

**So what do you think of Mo? **

**And what about the kiss Dimitri gave Rose? Confusing right? Tell me your thoughts about it!**

**See you next sunday evening!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Here is the newest chapter! I've gone back to chapter 2, 3 and 4 to give them more space! Enjoy and leave me lot of reviews!**

Thank God that I survived the day. After the kiss that happened at Saturday I was afraid of seeing Dimitri again on Monday. I was afraid that he would try to get close to me again. I don't want to let him in again. But he didn't get close to me today. It was awkward. And that doesn't even begin to cover the situation between us. He only spoke to me when it was absolutely necessary. But I could feel his eyes on me the entire day. But when I looked at him he would look away. I shouldn't have said to him that he was the reason for the scars. He isn't the reason.

After graduation I was supposed to go to court and they would give a charge. But after everything that happened I was nearly depressed. I suffered from losing Lissa and the bond between us. I suffered from all the shadows that tried to pull me down. And in school I only managed to keep standing on my own two feet was because of Dimitri. After he broke up with me I ended up being alone. I went to court and prepared to spend the next three weeks there.

One night the pain inside me became too much for me to handle. And I tried everything. I ran for two hours. Leaving my muscles sour. I cried my eyes out. But it didn't made the pain easier. I tried to drink the pain away. It would make me feel numb. And when my feeling came rushing back it made me angry. That I was so weak. That I would cry over a guy. I never had. In my anger moment I threw a couple of plates to the wall. When I cleaned up the mess I made I cut myself. And that was the moment I felt it for the first time. In that moment that I had psychical pain I wouldn't feel the emotional pain. That was the moment when the cutting started.

And I knew it was wrong and that I shouldn't do it. But I couldn't stop. It made me feel more at peace at that moment. I didn't want other to see it so I would only cut my legs. So I could wear shorts that reached far enough to cover it.

But after those three weeks I was still stuck at court. That was the moment that Hans told me that nobody filled a request for me to be his/her guardian. And a part of me had expected it already. I should have been the guardian of the last Dragomir. And because of that Lissa died, people thought that it would bring evil to them when they get the guardian of the last Dragomir. It happened before. Not in the same way as it happened to me. But when a king or queen was murdered, the guardians never got a new charge. They spent the rest of their lives at court or at an academy. And that would be my future from that moment on.

I left Hans' office that night without a vision of a proper future. I always dreamed of being a kick-ass guardian. I even wanted to reach the status my mother and Dimitri had. But my life was planned before it even started. After that night I let the shadows get closer to me. I didn't even fight anymore. And I knew that people were worried about me. Adrian screamed night after night at me. My mother came to look at me. I knew that she was disappointed at me. That I gave up so quickly. And at some point everything became too much to bare. I ran from court and I let all the walls down. Pulling every shadow to me that I could reach. That night, I tried to take my own life.

* * *

That week went by so fast. We still don't talk and I feel like I can finally breath again now I know that I won't have to see him today. He has a shift at the gates today. So the academy will be save for now. I called with Adrian this morning and he was as shocked as I was that Dimitri is here. And he promised to visit soon. I also called Abe because I remembered that I forget to tell him that I am working at the academy for two weeks now. It sounds bad, I know that. But we have moments where we speak to each other every day and we have moment were we don't speak for weeks.

He was worried that I am back here. And he went furious when he found out that Dimitri is here. He isn't very pleased with the idea that Dimitri and I spent so much time together. He was there when I broke and he picked me up. Abe helped me getting me back on my feet and gave me a job. I wouldn't be where I am today if Abe wasn't in my life. I am lucky to have such a good father. He really made up for the years that he missed and a lot more. He told me that he would stop by at the academy soon. He wanted a small talk with Dimitri. We all know what that means. I tried to convince Abe that I could handle it myself but he felt it was his duty as my father to deal with him.

At the moment I'm on my way to the gym. In the time I worked for Abe I met a girl, Mies, she became a great friend of mine. She is two years older than me and she is from the Netherlands. She taught me to dance and I still love to do that. And since the students doesn't come in the gym on Saturday, I can dance. I begin my stretches and put on some music. I find myself dancing the rest of the afternoon. Music as Thinking at loud comes by.

It is already 4:30 when I am finally done with the dancing. Nobody walked in and I'm glad about that. It was nice to have a little time for myself. I walk towards my room and take a quick shower. Time for dinner. I pick up some food and sit down next to Mo. He smiles at me and gives me a small bag. I look up in surprise.

'Just open it. I know you want to.' He says with a smile. He just gave me a gift. How sweet! And that after I left him in the middle of a conversation. I open it and gasp. Donuts! Oh my gosh. I missed them so much. I smile my man eater smile at Mo and look back in the bag. There are like five chocolate glazed donuts in there. My mouth waters at the sight of them. I've been at the academy for like three weeks now and I haven't had a donuts since I left court. This makes my day. Hell, it makes my whole week!

'You know you are amazing!' I say and look up at Mo. He looks at me with a glint in his eyes and chuckles.

'I know Rose. Now take a bite.' He says and nudge the bag closer to me. I pick one out of it and take a large bite. I moan at the taste of it. I'm like an addict here. Mo lets out another chuckle but I ignore it. I close my eyes and finish the donuts in seconds. After I finish the donuts, I even lick my fingers.

'I have never seen a girl eat like that.' Mo says and I look up at him. A little bit shocked and embarrassed. His eyes are a tint darker than usual. I wonder why. His stare makes me even more embarrassed and I look away. His fingers pushes up my chin so I have to look at him.

'Don't. I like it when a lady can eat!' he says and smiles a sweet smile at me. His eyes lock with mine and I see so much emotion in it. From the moment I know that he is a good person and that he will be a wonderful friend.

After I have eaten all of the donuts I kiss Mo's cheek and thank him. He suggest to train today and I accept. After we both get changed we spend the whole day outside training.

**So, how was this chapter? It has a little more explaining, but there is more to come. I'm currently writing chapter 8 and things will come a lot clearer by then!  
Leave me a review and tell me what you thought about it! **


	7. Chapter 7

**I want to thank everyone who is following and enjoying this story so far! And most of all I want to thank the ones who leave me a review! I always appreciate them and will always answer them.  
So here is chapter 7:**

_I am standing in a beautiful garden. There are flowers everywhere and the smell is so nice. It is warm and it is the middle of the moroi night. I am wearing a red dress that reach half my thighs. I walk around slowly, enjoying this beautiful moment. I feel so happy and free. It's like I'm no longer bound to shadows. I can feel him before I can see him. Dimitri. My hearts starts beating faster and every color shines brighter. His hands rest on my hips and he press a light kiss on the top of my head. His voice whispers my name. 'Roza'. Over and over again. _

_I turn around and rest my hand on his cheek. My beautiful man. He leans into my hand and leaves a small kiss on the inside of my wrist. My hearts start to swell when I look into his eyes. There is nothing more than love. Pure love. And I know that the same is radiating from my eyes. My love for him. He leans down and his lips capture mine. And in that kiss I lose myself and everything that's going on in our lives. Only he and I are important in this moment. _

_I tangle my hands in his hair and pull him even closer to me. His hands are still resting on my hips and he pulls my hips closer to his. And in that moment it feels like my whole body is on fire. I ached for him to touch him. To kiss me. To hold me close. My whole life is coming together in that moment and I know that I lived to meet him. That I was waiting until our lives would come together. And as long as I have him by my side nothing can go wrong. His hands move over my body making me shiver. I pull him down and notice we are lying on a bed. The garden is gone and instead we are in the cabin. I'm staring in Dimitri's beautiful eyes when it all just changes._

_I am standing on a graveyard. There are a lot of stones but the one in front of me makes me want to run. 'Rosemarie Hathaway.', it says. I try to walk away but something is making me look back at it. There is a person kneeling in front of it. Crying and calling my name. A small girl. When I move back towards the stone I freeze. In front of the stone is my younger self. I guess that I'm eighteen years old. I try to reach her, comfort her. But I can't reach her. Instead I hear a voice from behind me. I don't have to turn to now who is standing there. Dimitri. I feel relieved. He will comfort her, me. I know he will. My younger self stands up and walks toward him. A happy smile on her face and her eyes sparkling. When she is only two meters from him he pulls out a gun and shoots her in her heart. I scream and I fall on my knees._

* * *

I wake up with a scream. My heart is beating so fast at the moment. It felt so real. First the beauty of him kissing me. And then where he kills me. He didn't really killed me. But it felt so back then. Sweat if forming and I feel dirty. I push the sheets back and walk towards my bathroom. Needing a shower. But even in the shower I can't let go of the dream that I had. It had been a long time when I had these kind of dreams for the last time. Only when something that reminded me about him came in front of me I would have these kind of dreams. And I guess him touching me and kissing me is a big trigger. After my shower I notice that it is 5 pm. Early in the morning for the moroi. Going back to bed isn't going to work anymore. I still love to sleep and I still love my bed. Just as I did when I was still in the academy. But after all the nightmares and trouble that I've been through the bed is a little less my friend anymore.

I have put on some clothes and am taking a walk. Not sure where I am going but it is nice to keep myself busy for a moment. Or at least my body. My mind is still replaying the dream over and over. Seeing Dimitri every day brings back memories and a lot of feelings. The kiss we shared made me feel alive. And I haven't feel alive for the last five years. It's like my life has been on hold when Dimitri walked out of my life. And the moment he walks back into it, it is like someone pushed play again. And my mind goes back to the night in the garden. He looked sad when he found out that I didn't know that he will be my training partner. But I still don't know what he expect me to do. Be happy to see him again and let him into my life again? After he left me heartbroken. I won't be running back into his arms like nothing happened. Even if there is a part of me that wants to.

After another half hour of walking I hear a voice coming closer to me. And in the same moment I recognize that voice. Dimitri. I look around me, trying to find an escape route. But there isn't one. So I do what the first thing I can think of. I climb into a tree. Hoping that he won't see me in here. I can't understand what he is saying because it is probably in Russian. And I only hear his voice. He must be on the phone talking with someone. He comes closer and he is easier to hear. I can't understand the words he is saying, but one thing I can understand. Roza. My Russian name. I don't know who is talking to but he is talking about me. Moments after he passed my tree I let myself fall down. I wanted to do it soundless but I guess I failed. Dimitri has turned in seconds and his stake is in his hands. He says my name in a breath. Making it sound like a prayer.

'You startled me. What are you doing here?' he asks as he shoves his stake back in his belt. I smile an awkward smile and look up in the tree I just jumped out of. Shit, shit, shit. I didn't want to talk to him and now I have no choice. Why do I always help myself in this kind of situations.

'Ah, you know. Just hanging around.' I say. I can see a small smile lingering around his lips. I stare in his eyes and am locked for a moment. His guardian mask has fallen down for a moment and I can see so much emotions in his eyes that moment. Regret, guilt, happiness but also love. Wait, he still loves me?

'Roza, I-I… I just… Can we…' He tries to say something but it won't come out his mouth. Frustrated he had his hands in his hair and he turn away from me. It still affects me when he says my name like that. His little pet name for me. What does he want to say? I just need to know. I take a step closer to him and lay my hand on his back. For a moment I can just enjoy to feel his body under my hand. But in a moment he has turned around and his hands are on my cheeks. His eyes bore into mine and I see the pleading look in them.

'Roza, can we go somewhere and just talk? Will you please listen to me? I know I hurt you and I know you hurt yourself because of it. But please Roza. I never mend to. I never mend to hurt you, to break you. Will you listen to me? Give me a little chance?' He says. His accents thick because of the emotions he let himself show in this moment. I can even see tears forming in his eyes. My heart aches because of the tears.

But I don't know if I can just give him that chance. Because I know that if I will go with him and listen to him, that I will end up forgiving him about it all. Then I will let him inside again and I can't control myself anymore. His hands on my cheeks just feels so right. He makes me feel alive again. Maybe I should just give him another chance?

But what if I don't give him this chance. What will he do? Will he give up and leave me? Or will he even try harder? But options scare me. I am not ready to have a relationship with him again. But I can't bear to see him with another woman. Somewhere he is still mine and he will always be mine.

What should I do?

**What do you think that Rose should do? Go with him and try again. Or leave? **


	8. Chapter 8

**Here is chapter 8. Enjoy!**

It was a late afternoon in the middle of July. She had spent her weeks trying to keep sane. Trying to keep busy and not to give in on her mind. But everything came crushing to her when she stepped into her own room. She was given a small room in guardian house holding for the time she would be spending at court. And for the last couple of weeks she had seen her classmates given charges and leaving. But for Rose that wasn't the deal. She had to stay, right where she was. She had never received a charge or position anywhere. And that day she had heard that she would never receive a charge. That nobody wanted the guardian of the last Dragomir.

And when that was being told to her it made her think of the love of her life. Dimitri. He had chosen to leave her. But as far as she knew he had a positon at St. Basils. Was that her future to? To become a guardian at the academy for the rest of her life? Was their status worth nothing? He was known as a God. And they had said that she was a badass guardian. But in the end it didn't help her.

She found herself wishing that Dimitri was with her. So he could support her and make feel better. He would've know what to say and what to do. And even if he didn't, she would only feel better in his presence. She would be a better person. And it made her sad that she didn't know why he left her. They had made promises to each other. Commitments. But as soon as he made them, he had already broken all of them.

She had fallen in love with him. Against all the rules. She had given all of herself to him. But in the end it didn't matter. He was the love of her life and she would never love another man the way she had loved him. She would compare all the man she met in her life with Dimitri. And they would never be enough. They wouldn't be as strong or made her laugh the way he did. Sure, he wasn't perfect. But he was perfect for her.

And she wouldn't forget the night he broke her heart. She had graduated and would leave the next day to go to court. She wanted to celebrate with the only person that mend the world to her. The moment she saw him she knew something was wrong. His eyes wouldn't lit up the way they always did. And his guardian mask was firm in place. He had told her that it was better. For both of them. His suitcases already packed and the plane was ready to leave. He didn't even listen to what she had to say.

On the first week when she had been at court she met him, her father. He told her why he hadn't been in her life for all those years. She had been mad him. But he had just stick around. And in just a couple days she had noticed that she had let him in. slowly and just with these small steps. But Abe Mazur was someone who wouldn't take no for an answer.

But the most important person in her life at that moment was Adrian. As much as her father would cheer her up and made sure that she had something on her mind every day. No one understood as good as Adrian what she had to go through. Because in the end, nobody had known about her and Dimitri. So he would come to talk to her every day, keep her busy. He would feed her liquor when everything became too much. She wasn't even old enough to buy her own. So why was she even old enough to carry this burden.

Adrian even visited her in her dreams. To make sure she wouldn't dream of him. Or about Lissa. He was worried about her.

After the accident Lissa was the one that pulled Rose back to life. She had bound Rose to her and they would be sisters for the rest of their life. So the moment when Lissa died, some part of Rose had died with her. They had a lot of theories about what happened in that cave that certain night. But after it, Rose was even more bound to the dead. To the shadows. Adrian could see them when he was around her. And even with all the help Rose received, she couldn't keep standing on her own two feet because of that.

She had been stumbling to keep standing since that night. Dimitri had helped her, a lot more then they both had thought. But without his help it was just a matter of time when it all went wrong.

It was a late night in the middle of July. A beautiful night. But after everything Rose had to go through, it became too much. So when she got home she had changed in her sport clothes. Trying to keep her head clear. But it wouldn't help. She had tried to drink the pain away. But it made the pain even worse. And even the cutting wouldn't help her that night. At that point she was weak. She wasn't the Rose anymore that everyone had known.

Her thought went back to her fear to became just like Anna. She had killer herself when Vladimir died. And that night, she thought that maybe, just maybe everything would become a lot better when she would follow Anna. She wasn't mend to be on this world anymore. So maybe it was time for her to let it all go.

And even before she could think straight about it, she had left court. She had stepped behind the wards and pulled the shadows to her. First it had made her feel better. But when she lost more and more of her control of the shadows she became scared. She didn't want to die. She didn't want to leave this world.

She regretted stepping behind the wards. She was weak at the moment. But it didn't mean that her life wasn't worth anything. She needed to life. She owned it to Lissa. She knew she did. So why did she wanted to die? All those things because of the shadows? All those things because she didn't had Dimitri by her side? She could live without a guy. She had never needed anyone in her life before. If only she could get another change.

Three days later she woke up in her own room with Abe sitting next to her. He had followed her and saved her before it was too late. And from that moment she had the feeling that she owned Abe her life. And in some way she actually did. She finally accepted his help and she had left court with him to go to Turkey.

Adrian had followed them and they had been testing the theories they had why Rose felt the way she did. And in the end they stuck up the fact that after Lissa's dead she had even more shadows surrounding her. She had been fighting those shadows for a while and only needed a last push to let her fall over the edge.

After months of working on herself she finally was feeling better. She still slept a lot and sometimes she walked around the house like a zombie. But she didn't had the urge anymore to cut herself of even try to kill herself. Her father was around a lot and had hired some people to support her and make her feel better.

After a whole year since her fall down her father had talked her into his business. She would pick up stuff for him and sometimes she would treat a person to do what was told. It wasn't really spectacular and she knew that her father's business was a lot more than that, but he wouldn't include her further in his world. A thing that she appreciated.

* * *

I decided to go with him. To give him a chance to explain everything to me. We ended up in the cabin. A little ironic. We sat on the ground next to the bed. And every time he would breath in his arm would touch mine. Making me crazy. But as promised he started to explain why he did what he did.

The day before my graduation Dimitri was already told that he wouldn't get a new charge. That as the guardian of the last Dragomir he was doomed, as I called it. He was offered a place at his old school. St. Basils. They had told him it would be his best shot. He had decided to took the place without telling me.

He was afraid that when we would announce that we were a couple that things would end up badly for me. And he knew that some people saw me as the second guardian of the last Dragomir. But not all Moroi saw me like that. So he thought that I could have a chance to receive a charge.

And as Dimitri is Dimitri he couldn't bring me down with him. So he broke up with me. To give me a chance to live. To be a guardian. He had left before I could say something because he knew that one word from me and he would have stayed.

Months later he had heard what I had done and what my future would be like. And he felt bad. For me and he was mad at himself. He had wanted to be there for me. He had known how depressed I was and how difficult everything had been for me. And he tried to contact me.

But that contact never came. At that time I was already in Turkey and every information and every letter and phone call came through Abe. And Abe didn't want Dimitri to have another chance with me. He blamed Dimitri for everything I had done.

Dimitri don't want to say it, but I am sure that Abe threatened him. It makes me a little mad at Abe for not giving me my own chance to decide what I wanted to do with Dimitri. But I am also glad that he did what he did. Because now I am stronger than what I was.

I was mad at Dimitri when he told me this. But I could have known that this is what he would do. It is typically Dimitri. After it I told him my story what happened and we actually cried together. I cried because the memories are still so painful. And Dimitri cried because he felt bad. I could see that he became even angrier at himself.

Dimitri told me that he received a phone call from Alberta. Saying that she wanted him to come back to the academy. And that she had asked me to come as well. He saw that as a chance to speak with me again without Abe noticing. So here we both are.

Dimitri is sitting next to me. One of his legs folded under the other one. Leaving in a half cross-legged position. My legs are over his leg and I have pressed my side against him. He has one arm wrapped around me. His other hand is laying on my knee. I have my arms wrapped around him. It is nice to be this close to him again.

'Can you please give me another chance Roza?' he whispers. I look up into his pleading eyes.

'A chance of what Dimitri? To be friends or…?' I say. Unsure of what he wants. My heart is pounding is my chest with anticipation.

'I know that I made a mistake Roza. But if you give me another chance in love I won't let you go another time. I want you to be the one I can come home to. I want to fall asleep next to you every evening and wake up and see your beautiful smile.' He says as I hold my breath. Tears are filling in my eyes. It is everything I wanted to hear. And some more even. It is what I have been dreaming of.

'I want to give you another chance, Comrade. But I want to take it slow.' I say. His eyes lit up when I call him comrade. I am still unsure when I give him this chance. But my heart says that I should do it. But my brain is saying that I can't trust him.

'Oh Roza. We can take all the time you want. I will prove to you that I don't leave you again.' He says and he give me a light peck on my cheek. I press my head against his chest and close my eyes. I missed him.

**I want to say sorry if there a couple spelling mistakes in this chapter. But I wanted to update and I am just so tired :(.  
****So, I went to see Insurgent yesterday! Amazing movie. Anyone of you saw it? What do you think about it?**

**The chapter. Please tell me what you thought about it. Rose is giving him another change. Yeey! After posting this chapter I don't have any chapters ready anymore. So if you want to have something happen into this story, this is you change to tell me!**

**Review, follow and favorite! And I will see you next week!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

There had always be someone to tell him what to do. And how he should do it. And this time it wasn't anything different. They told him to jump and he would jump. They told him to shoot and he would shoot. But this time it was all a little bit different. They had given him a assignment. But this time they didn't tell him how he should do the job.

He was told that he needed to kill Rose Hathaway before the end of November. He didn't know why they had wanted her dead. Of why it should be before the end of November after all. He just went on his mission and did the job.

But something about this girl grabbed his attention. Maybe it was her looks or her background. He had never had some kind of interest in the people he had to kill. But now he wanted to have her before he killed her.

It sounded weird. He knew that. But in the life that he lived there was no place for normal relationships or things like friends. It was him and him alone.

He needed to get close to her first. She needed to trust him. So he decided to took off to the academy and became a guardian there. It was a little harder to become close to her. But he would try to.

He had never failed before and he wouldn't fail this time. What could someone like Rose Hathaway do to him? She meant nothing to nobody anymore.

* * *

I'm in so much trouble right now. I've been messing with my colleagues this whole week. And now I'm in Alberta's office. I pulled a prank with a new guardian yesterday and I almost got caught. They still think that a student did it. But what if Alberta knows?

'Hello Rose. How are you?' Alberta says when she walks in. I give her a smile and she sit next to me.

'I'm fine. Busy with teaching those kids and stuff. How are you?' I say. Trying to get this conversation to be about her and not about me. She smiles at me and shakes her head.

'I'm fine Rose. I wish I had more time to talk but there are some things that need my attention. So, I wanted to ask you something. In a couple of weeks the Equinox ball will take place and all the things that we need for it needs to be picked up. And I hoped that you could do that for me.' She says and looks at me with a pleading look. A little road trip sounds nice. But I don't want to go alone.

'As I do that can I take someone with me?' I ask and she nods. Shout, who do I want to take with me? Dimitri? Mo? Or someone else?

'Take a couple of guardians with you Rose. Have a nice weekend off and have some fun.' She says and she winks. A whole weekend with other guardians. I smile at her and nod. That sounds good to me. And I don't have to choose one person.

I would love a weekend with Dimitri. But I think it would be too soon. A couple of days had passed since we talked and everything seems better now. But it is nice to call him my friend.

And a weekend with Mo sounds like a lot of fun too. He is a good friend and I can talk with him about everything. But sometimes I thing that he wants more. He doesn't let it show of talks about it. But sometimes he looks at me and I can see the question in his eyes. Don't get me wrong. I like Mo. But my heart still belongs to Dimitri.

Alberta and I talk a little about what I have to do and how many people I can take. After a couple minutes I stand up and am ready to leave. I will take Dimitri and Mo with me and two other guardians.

'Oh Rose. Will you have a little mercy with your colleagues.' She says with a smile. I stare at her a little confused. She gives me a small wink and looks back at her computer. She knows. Wow, she is still as good as she was.

* * *

'Oh my god. You are amazing Rose.' Mo shouts in my ear as a new round of shots comes to our table. I grin at him and down my drink in seconds.

After my talk with Alberta I asked him, Dimitri and two other guardians Robert and Derek. They wanted to come with me so we packed our stuff in a SUV and headed on our way. A couple of hours ago we checked ourselves in in a motel and now are in a club.

Mo is getting himself drunk and trying to take me with him. Robert and Derek are tapping jokes and keeping the air light. They are nice guys. And Dimitri. Well our Russian is standing next to me watching us devouring our shots. He has a glass of vodka in hand. Speaking of stereo types.

'You wanna dance?' Robert asks and holds his hand out to me. I take it and let him pull me to the dance floor. The songs changes and now the songs mirrors is playing. The dancer in me takes over and Robert doesn't disappoints me.

He pulls me closer with his hands and demanding me to dance with him instead of dancing alone. I spin around and he takes my hand helping me spin. He lets me fall back and pulls me back to him. We do a little teasing and I am glad that he asked me to dance. He is a great dancer and he just knows how to handle it.

I let myself drop and he grabs my arms. Pulling me up with my back against his chest. He wraps my arms around his neck and he lets his hands glide over my belly. The dancing is a little intimate and we go up in our world. But with Robert is doesn't feel erotic.

We dance for a while and then we head back to our table. There is an awkward tension in the air between the three man. Mo is looking at me with an angry glint in his eyes. Why is he angry? And is he angry at me? Because I went dancing without him?

I stare at Mo for a while but he just looks away and downs his drink in a couple of seconds. Wow, what is wrong with him?

My eyes go to Dimitri and I gasp at what I see in his eyes. He is looking at me with pure lust in his eyes. His eyes are dark and his lips are light parted. I can't even look at him of the intensity that is radiating of him.

And Derek. He isn't looking at me. No, he is looking at Robert with an intense look. Robert is standing next to him and they are completely in their own world.

* * *

After that awkward moment we decided to go back to the motel. I walked next to Mo and he was as funny as always. He had his arm wrapped around my shoulder and I had wrapped mine around his waist. We walked a little slower than the rest and by the time we got to our apartment the other were already discussing the rooms.

We have an apartment with three rooms. It sounded like a good plan when we rented it but now I'm not sure anymore.

'Guys, guys. Don't worry about those rooms. I just take a room with Rose here and you can have the other two.' Mo says. Slurring a little. I freeze mid step and look panicked at Dimitri. I don't want to lay in one bed with Mo.

'Rose is the only woman in our group. So she gets her own room. That leaves two room for us. Decide who shares a room.' Dimitri says with authority. The others now better than to argue with him. Dimitri is the oldest.

I smile at Dimitri. Thankful for his help and then walk into the smallest room. My mind is a spinning a little. Why didn't I ask another woman to this trip? I like Mo but I didn't like the look in his eyes when I returned from the dance floor.

I change into something comfortable and walk out of my room. The man are gone and I head out of the door. When we checked in this afternoon I saw a little swimming pool. Maybe the cool water will clear of my head.

When I reach the swimming pool is sit down and let my feet hanging in the water. And I can help myself but thing back to the time where everything was perfect. Or I can better say that afternoon.

Lissa was still alive and Dimitri finally gave in. The future had looked so perfect. And I know that it can still turn out to be perfect. I can still get Dimitri back. If I just say yes to him and we can pick up where we left is. But I can't decide if I want to. And in those moments I miss Lissa so badly. She always knew what to say or do.

'Roza. Are you okay?' A deep and familiar voice asks. I look up and see Dimitri standing next to me. The moment I look up he sits down next to me. His thumb brushing over my cheek.

'I'm fine Comrade. Just thinking.' I say with a smile. He wraps his arm around me and pulls me closer to him. His warmth and smell is intoxicating.

'What are you doing here alone Roza?' he asks softly. I look up at him and he looks down at me. Our faces are just inches apart. His breath spreading over my face and I am lost in his beautiful brown orbs.

'Kiss me Dimitri.' I whisper. He bends his head down and my lips meet his in a sweet and loving kiss. My fingers tangled in his hair and his hands around my waist. This feels so right. It feels like coming home after a very long time.

Too soon Dimitri pulls away and he rests his forehead against mine. His lips slightly parted and he is breathing heavy. His lips meet mine again for a quick kiss.

'I missed kissing you. I missed holding you. I missed you Roza.' He says and he kisses me again and again. Leaving me numb.

'We should go upstairs.' I say and he nods. We break apart and the moment is over. The magic is once again broken and I want to hit myself. Why did I have to say that?

**So this was chapter 9! What do you think? Who wants to kill Rose? And is Mo jealous? She finally wanted Dimitri to kiss her!  
****Another question: Lemon or no lemon? **

**I have to be a complete geek at this page for a moment. I went to the very first comic con in my country this weekend! And it was amazing! **


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10. Enjoy!**

I sit in my bed and I just want to hit myself at the moment. Why did I need to ruin that moment with Dimitri? It felt so good to be so close to him again. For all those years I have been trying to tell myself that I could life without him and that I would be fine.

But that has been a lie from the beginning. I've been so far from the Rose I used to be. The person that makes fun of everyone and that has an attitude. I've been silent and lonely for the five years I've spent without him.

The old Rose would have chased him. She would have demand answers and a life together. But the person I was couldn't do that. I was happy that I stood on my feet back then. But now. Now I'm more than that. I want a life with Dimitri. I want to grow old together.

I, Rose Hathaway, wants to bind herself to a man. And I can't be anything than happy about it! It feels like my life has finally a purpose. With him in my life my life has meaning and I have something to look towards to.

I stand up quickly and I reach the kitchen before I remember that he is sharing a room with Mo. I can't just storm in that room and ask if Dimitri comes with me to my room. Not when Mo wanted to share a room with me.

How can this be such a mess at the moment. I curse and pull my hands through my hear.

'What's wrong?' his voice asks. Startling me. I spin around and there he is. Sitting on the couch. An amused look on his face as he is looking at me.

'What are you doing here? Why are you not in your bed?' I ask. It comes out a little bossier than I intent to. He chuckles and he stands up.

'I wanted to. But there is someone taking all the bed for himself.' He says with a smile. He walks toward me as I am walking to him.

He is standing in front of me. Tall and strong. My hands go up to his chest as his hands settle on my hips. His head slightly bend towards me. Our lips only inches apart.

'You can sleep with me. Please stay with me.' I whisper. His eyes glowing in the dark. He licks his lips and he nods slowly. The sparks are flowing between the two of us. How many times I have dreamed to have him with me for a night.

I take his hand and lead him to my room. He closes the door after him and then we are standing there staring at each other. Anticipation building with every second. Only our hands are tangled together.

I remove my hand from his and I walk around the room. His eyes that are following me every step are dark. I turn the little lamp on the side of the bed on and walk back to him. Now I can see him better. His eyes are moving over my body and it makes me shiver.

'I'm so sorry that I ever left you, my Roza. I'm sorry that you had to go through it all without me by your side. But give me another chance and I will never leave you again. I promise that I will never hurt you again Roza.' he says. His accents thicker with all the emotions he puts in it.

And I can only stand there listening to his beautiful voice. Not able to say something back to him. So instead of speaking I reach up and tangle my hands in his hear. I pull him closer and I press my lips against his. It takes him only a second to react and he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me closer to him. His lips moving with mine.

His tongue traces my bottom lip, asking for permission. I happily give it to him and our tongues are soon battling for domination. My hands travel down to the hem of his shirt. His lips leaves mine and he places open mouthed kisses on my neck. I let my head fall back giving him better access.

My hands slide under his shirt and I gasp as I feel his hard stomach. I pull his shirt over his head wanting to have more skin to touch. My hands roam over his chest and his spine.

'Roza…' he says softly in me ear and I know that he tries to stay in control. Something that he always found it hard around me.

'Don't you want me Dimitri? Because I want you so badly.' I whisper hoarsely. His eyes bore in mine and I can see the fight that is going on inside of him. I can kiss him and he all his control will break down.

'It's not that I don't want you Roza. Because I want to. But I want it to be special.' He says and I can see the truth in his eyes. And I know that I can't do this to him. Not now. Dimitri always believed in doing the right thing and this isn't the right thing. Not in this moment.

We have barely talked and there are so much things that are keeping us apart. So I step back and give him a little space to become in control of himself again.

'Let's go to bed and just sleep, alright?' he says and he turns around. Letting me stare at his bare back. What a sight is that. I can't help myself to reach out and let my hand trace his spine. I can feel him shiver underneath my touch.

'I'm going to take a quick shower. And then I will meet you in bed.' He says and he walks away. I guess that he just needs a little time to collect himself.

'Mind if I join you?' I can't help to ask. I hear him taking in a sharp breath and his hands are shaking lightly.

'Roza. Please don't.' he says with a small voice. It lets me know how hard this is for him. So I let him walk to the bathroom and I undress myself. I slip into my nightgown and sit on the bed. Waiting for Dimitri to join me.

* * *

I fell asleep long before I could see Dimitri coming back from his shower. And maybe that was for the best. But when I woke up I was wrapped in his arms. His chest against my back. It felt like heaven. It felt like home.

But the thing was that I didn't woke up when I wanted to. Next to me, kneeling by the bed, was Derek. He looked a little ashamed to be there. But there was a sparkle in his eyes saying that he found it very funny to see Dimitri and me like this.

He had woken me up because it was time to collect the stuff for the equinox ball. After that he had left us and I had to wake Dimitri. Normally he would be the first one to be awake. But I guess that he had the same feelings as I had.

I hadn't slept that good in years. After I had woken Dimitri we came into the living room together. Mo was so pissed that Dimitri had slept with me after he had said that I would sleep alone. But after a little talk about how he had taken all the bed he had shut himself up.

We had decided that we would spent another night at the motel before we would head back to the academy. It felt good to have a good time with some new friends.

* * *

I was sitting next to Mo as we were talking and drinking. Robert had managed to get a little campfire so we just could just enjoy this night with the five of us. After we had been caught by Derek, Dimitri and I were taking a little distance. We weren't ready to let the others now what was between us.

And maybe that was because we didn't know. So here I was sitting next to Mo. His arm was lightly wrapped around my shoulder and he was again trying to get me drunk.

'Maybe we should to a motel for a weekend another time. Just the two of us.' Mo says in my ear and I freeze. I meet Dimitri's eyes over the fire and he stiffens as well.

Mo is asking me for a weekend away. With just the two of us. I like Mo. I like him a lot. But as a friend. He reminds me of Mason. What would I do? What can I do?

It isn't that Mo is a bad guy. He isn't. And he would probably make a girl very happy. But I'm not that girl. If is see myself with someone. If is imagine growing old with someone. It isn't Mo. It would be Dimitri. It would always be Dimitri.

'I… I am sorry Mo. But I don't have that kind of feelings for you.' I say and I am finally meeting his gaze. His eyes bore into mine. But they don't have any kind emotion in them.

'Am I not good enough Roza.' he says with a mean tone as he says Roza.

'Oh, that's right. I'm not Russian. That's it right. You are always with him. Will you ever see that he isn't good enough for you? Because I am Rose.' He says loudly for everyone to hear. I can see the hurt in his eyes. He truly has feelings for me.

'I am sor..' I try to say but Mo interrupts me.

'No Rose. Spare your apology.' He says and he jumps up. Before anyone of us can react he had walked away.

* * *

So she is with the Russian. How can she choose for him. What does he have to offer to her? I guess that way I won't have chance to have her. Not in the way I wanted to. But that won't stop me. It never stopped me anyway.

I will just take from her what I want to have. She is a woman. She is weak. But I have to do it fast. My masters don't want to wait any longer than necessary. So they say and I will do.

Only two weeks until the equinox ball. And my plan had already started. She doesn't know what will happen to her. Kill her they say. And I will kill her. But I can play with my prey, right?

All my life they have decided what I needed to do with my life. As the son of a high moroi I needed to follow. I needed to be ashamed of the weak excuse of my human mother. Father told me she was a witch who took him under her spell. And to make things right for me I need to follow him.

I spend my life at a academy to become a guardian. I never met my father until after graduation. But he told me that I owned him everything since he paid for my education. So after graduation I became his guardian for a while.

Now I've been his guardian for several years and I killed more people then I can count. I can't remember their name or their face. They weren't important. They were weak people that weren't worth living. And they never saw me coming. I'm just that good.

But this assignment is not as the others. There is something about Rose that makes her important. Maybe not for me or the people around her. Not as much as she is to my father and his friends. I've learned about Rose existence about five years ago.

My father came back home and he was furious. Saying that he couldn't that to him. That he couldn't have kept her hidden from them for all those years. Nobody could do that in the business where we worked in.

He had always known from my existence since the day I was born. And they had made an agreement. And I didn't know what was it about. But I would find about that before I kill Rose. I wanted to know.

**I've been uploading a couple of one-shots. One of those story's is Love over healing. And I can't decide if I want to make it into a story or not. Maybe you could help decide! So go read it if you haven't and tell me what you think.**

**I also hope you liked this chapter! So let me know and maybe I will start updating twice a week!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Took me a little longer but here is the newest chapter!**

I open up my eyes and all around me is darkness. I'm not in my own bed. Not in my own room. Where am I? What is this? I try to move but my arms are tied together above my head. I try to move my legs but they are tied together.

Don't panic. Don't panic. Breathe, just breathe. If you panic you can't think. Think Rose, think. How tight are the ropes on my wrists? Move them. Just do it. They are pretty tight but I can move my fingers. Maybe I can do something with that.

I have a knife in my boots. But how do I get in my boots when both my hands and foot are tied. Move your feet. Are they tied to a wall or anything? I move them. They aren't tied to anything. Good. That way I will have more chance to get my knife.

I swing my feet and wrap myself almost double. Trying to get my feet to my hands. A sharp pain shoots through my belly and back. Moving my feet as fast as I can toward the first positon. What is going on? Why is my belly and back hurting?

I take another deep breath and swing my feet up again. Trying to ignore the pain. I bite my lower lip until I can feel the blood. But I can't swing my feet high enough. I try again and again until the tears of pain and frustration are flowing down. Come on Rose. You can't give up. You just can't.

I swing my feet up again screaming out of the pain. Don't make a sound. Don't make any sound Rose. You don't know who is there. I bite my lip harder and I finally reach my hands with my foot. I pry the knife out of my boot and lie flat again. Relieved that that is over.

With the knife I start cutting the ropes on my wrists. I can't help but find the person who tied me up here pretty stupid that he or she didn't searched for more weapons. The gun and my stake are gone but after working for Abe for a couple of years I always carry a knife with me.

My wrists are feeling raw and are bleeding lightly. I start feeling my body for any wounds. My face feels normal. There is only a painful spot on my temple. Was I knocked out before I was dragged here? I can't remember. I can't remember anything but coming back at the academy.

Neck and chest feel normal. But there is a spot on my belly that hurts like hell and it feels wet. What is it? Blood? I feel further around the wound. It's a small and round wound. A bullet? I feel around my body and on my back. There is another small and round wound. Definitely a bullet. Luckily it has an exit wound. But I should get out of here and fast.

I don't know how long I have been here and how long I have this wound. But if I wait too long I will blood out and I can't tell if the bullet has hit any organs. Other than that I don't feel any other wounds. I push myself up and against the wall. Bending lightly to cut the ropes around my ankles.

Good. More freedom. Now I need to find the exit of this damned place. But there is no light. No cracks telling me there is a window or door. I stand up and place my hands on the wall. Breathing heavy. I lost a lot of blood already and moving will cost me more. I need to hurry.

I feel around the wall and take a couple of steps. A corner. Should I go back and they the other way or move further. Move further Rose. Don't go back. Take another step. And another. Go on, please go on. Don't sit down. All of sudden if feel crack.

Giving me another shot of adrenalin I feel further. A door. Where does it open? A heck. I pull it open and it creaks a lot. Please don't let anybody hear it. I just want to go back and find Dimitri. Yes. I need to tell him what I feel.

I walk into the hallway. There is light here so I can finally see where I am going. I am in the basement and I can't help but feel the irony of it. I need to go up the stairs. Step by step Rose. Remember Dimitri. Remember Adrian. Remember Abe. And even if that's not enough think of Lissa.

'Are you that stupid?' a voice behind me asks and I spin around. Only gasping if I see who is standing there. Mo. What is he doing here?

'You can't escape Rose. Not this time. Not from me.' he says with an evil smile on his face. And then I can only start to realize it. But why? Because I choose Dimitri? Because I denied him?

'Why are you doing this?' I ask with a weak voice. Pushing my hand against the wound on my belly. With my other hand I take a better grip on the knife. He laughs and he aims a gun at me.

'I was told to kill you Rose.' he says with that evil smile on his face. Told? Who wants to kill me?

'You know when you work for people like your father that you are an easy target. Your father made the mistake to mess with mine. And he has to pay.' He says. This is about my father? How does he even know that Abe is my father? Most people don't even know that.

I need to distract him. I need to let him focus on something other than that gun that is aimed at me. Think fast.

'What has that to do with me? I don't have a father.' I say. It comes out better than I expected it to be. Good. I switch the knife between my hands behind my back and press the other to the wound. I'm losing more and more blood.

'Don't fool me Rose. You had a chance to safe yourself. But you wanted that Russian over me!' he says and takes a step closer to me. Only in seconds I have aimed my goal and thrown the knife at him. Straight to the heart.

But before it can hit him he has released a bullet. I can hear the shot and feel the pain only moments later. It feels like it happens in slow motion. A bullet has hit me straight through the chest and I feel myself falling to the ground.

It feels like I can feel Dimitri close to me. Even hear his voice. But I know that that's not true. I am alone here. And I am going to die alone. Without telling him what I feel. Without giving him truly that chance. The world is fading and turning black. And the only thing I can feel is regret...


	12. Chapter 12

**Thank you for the reviews! Here is chapter 12:**

**DPOV  
**Do you know that moment when it feels like your whole life is slipping through your fingers? I thought I knew how it felt but today I found out how it really felt. And the moment was when I was breathing air into Rose's lungs. As a weak attempt to try to save the love of my life.

And I still can't figure out how it all went that way. I remember that we were walking through the woods. Just me and Rose. We were talking and even making future plans. My arm wrapped around her shoulder and her arm wrapped around my waist. She was smiling and laughing a lot, just the way I love it.

And the next moment I woke up on the ground in the middle of the woods. Without Rose. I could feel a nasty bruise on the back of my head but there weren't any clues to what happened. Only that Rose was not with me and that was enough to make a run to Alberta.

We were still within the academy boundaries so it couldn't have been Strigoi. And if it were Strigoi I wouldn't be alive now. Something happened to Rose, my Roza. And I was scared for her. I didn't had the chance to ask her what I wanted to ask and how was I supposed to do without her when I just got her back?

Alright, so maybe I was panicking. But panicking was the only thing that kept me from breaking down. Alberta didn't believed me first that there was something happening to Rose but after they had searched for her for about two hours, she knew. And that was when things became mad.

All the guardians gathered. Nobody had seen Rose. That moment there started a searching for her but it wouldn't help. We couldn't find her and my heart sank that moment. What if we couldn't find her and I lost my shot at loving her all those years ago.

I don't think that I could live without her. Yes, I did it for years. But all those years I knew she was alive and I had Adrian to tell me how she was doing. If she died while being in surgery there would be a part of me dying with her.

And I can't even think about what I should do then. Go back home and live with my mother and sisters? Could I give up guardian work? Or should I continue if she didn't died. Alright, enough thinking about that. She hasn't died. She is still alive.

Keep breathing, just keep breathing. Just wait until the doctor comes back and tell you that she survived. She has to survive, she just have to. If it is not for me. Then she should survive for Abe, for Adrian or even for Christian.

Alberta had called Abe when I walked into her office saying that there had happened something to Rose. He had arranged a flight to come here with Adrian. Adrian had called Christian who was only an hour and a half away from the academy.

Now we were sitting in the waiting room of the hospital. Me, Alberta, Abe, Adrian and Christian. Waiting on some news from Rose or even from Mo. Who was in surgery too.

The search for Rose took us twelve hours. Twelve stupid hours to search for someone who was still on academy grounds. And we found her by accident. I was patrolling the grounds with Robert when we heard a gunshot. One look and we were rushing inside.

In the small corridor in the basement was something I never wanted to see. On one side was Mo, a knife on the right side of his neck. He was losing blood in a quick tempo. In his left hand was a gun.

On the other side was Rose, my Roza. A pool of blood around her and she wasn't showing any signs of consciousness. I rushed towards her and I could tell that she had lost a lot of blood. Too much. Her heart stopped beating and the only thing I could do was preforming CPR on her.

It took only minutes before the paramedic were there to help me. To help Roza. But it felt like a life time. And then they left with her and with Mo. A trauma-helicopter stood ready to move them to the local hospital.

Alberta made me change clothes and then we were on the way to the hospital. All my clothes were covered with her blood. Making sure that I had everything with me that I needed we just went. And that is how we ended up in the waiting room.

I couldn't help but wanting Mo to survive. Not that I think that he should live. But in that way I could kill him myself. Or let Abe kill him. That way he would die in a way that he deserved more.

They had managed to get Roza's heart beating again. But that didn't mean she was out of critical zone. She was still fighting for her life. She had a large bruise on her head and they were worried that she was bleeding into her brain. There was a bullet wound in her stomach and came out on her back. But that bullet had hit her spine. And the worst thing was the bullet that had gone into her chest. That one didn't came out.

I just wished she would survive. I would give up everything to make sure that she would survive. Giving up my own life it would help her survive. And I know that I am not the only one thinking that if I look around me.

Abe is pacing around. Slightly mumbling to himself. And I don't know if he does that because he is going mad or that he is planning Mo's death. For his own sake I hope the last one. He may have been absent for a large part of Rose's life but he does care. A lot.

Adrian is already drunk. Or more beyond drunk. He is also talking to himself. But with him I know that it is bad. He cares about Rose a lot.

Christian is just sitting there. Not saying anything and staring right in front of him. I can't even imagine how this must be for him. He has already lost Lissa, the love of his life. And we all know how much he cared about Rose. They were like brother and sister.

Alberta is calling. Always on the phone and I think that is just to keep herself busy. Rose is like a daughter for her.

And me? Well, I try hard not to lose it. To keep myself together and stop myself from bursting into tears. I need to be strong. If I can't be strong, how can Roza be strong? She is all alone in there. Fighting for her own life.

'Family of Rosemarie Hathaway?' a young doctor asks and in only seconds we are all standing around him. Wanting to have the information.

'The surgery went well and she is now in the ICU to recover.' He says. Thank God she survived! Tears of happiness are forming in my eyes and I am not the only one.

'But there were a couple complications…'

**What do you think? Rose survived but what kind of complications is the doctor talking about?  
And what is that question that Dimitri wanted to ask her?**


	13. Chapter 13

**Abe point of view  
**Two men and a boat.  
No.  
A gun.  
No, to easy.  
Wolfs.  
No, too much trouble.  
Hanging.  
No. Don't deserve it.  
Torture.  
Absolute.  
Electroshocks.  
Yes. Yes. Yes.

'Family of Rosemarie Hathaway?' a young doctor asks and pulls me out of my thought. In an instant I stand by his side telling me I'm her father.

'The surgery went well and she is now in the ICU to recover.' He says. In this moment I want to thank God on my knees. I never believed but in this moment there has to be someone watching over my daughter. This is the third time in her life she almost died. No wonder I'm already grey.

'But there were a couple complications. If you want to follow me to my room I will inform you about it.' he says and my world collapses again. If that bastard did something permanent to her he will only suffer more.

We follow him and squeeze in his office. It's not made for six people. I sit down on one stool and motion to Alberta to sit down as well. Wished that Janine was here but she is still on her way. Damn that woman.

'Rosemarie was brought in with three gun wounds and a large bruise on her head. Two of the bullets went through her chest and only spared her heart by an inch. The other bullet went through her stomach and hit her spine. It is pretty damaged and we suspect that she will be paralyzed for the rest of her life. Because of the hit she got on her head she was slightly bleeding inside her head. We stopped the bleeding but we can't tell the damage of it until she wakes.' He tells and I feel older then I already am.

My poor daughter. Paralyzed for life. I glance toward Adrian, silently asking him the question. He looks at me and nods. Already thinking about it himself. There sometimes are wounds and damaged that even Adrian can't fix. And Rose was just that case. But now that the doctors already fixed so much, maybe she has a chance. Maybe Adrian can help her heal further.

'Can we to her?' the Russian asks. I still don't like him but he was the one that found Rose. Adrian told me that she had wanted to give him another chance and maybe I should give him one to. But I won't tell Rose that. Or the Russian.

The doctors tell us yes and we follow him to a clean and white room. There is only one bed in the room and in the bed is a small figure. Rose. A lot of machines are around her, beeping. She looks so small, so fragile, inside that bed. All those tubes sticking out of the blanket she is lying under.

I walk to her and lay my hand on her head. She has a bandage wrapped around her head and even there is a tube sticking out. I talk to her in Turkish and kiss her head. Silently wiping away the tears that are on my face before I turn to the group standing behind me.

Giving them a little room to say their words to Rose. The Russian goes last and even that he talks to her in Russian I can understand what he says. He promises to never leave her and to do everything for her. He tells her that he loves her and that without her his live has no meaning. And he doesn't even hide the tears on his face.

I think I should have a talk with him. Just the two of us. I want to know how serious he is about his meanings to be with her. As soon as Dimitri has said his words the doctor ushers us out of the room saying that she needs rest and we can come by later.

'Dimitri, we need to talk.' I say as soon as we leave the room. He looks at me and only nods. We say our goodbyes to the others and I walk with him to the hospital cafeteria. I don't think both of us would leave this hospital soon.

We get something to eat and drink and we sit down on a table further away from the rest. I sit down and start eating. Giving us both a little time to clear our minds after everything. Rose is alive and that is the most important thing.

Christian and Adrian are with Rose at the moment. The doctors don't know it and they will never know. Adrian will try to heal her further. Hoping to give her a chance at living. At walking, moving her legs.

'I want to be honest with you Dimitri. You hurt my daughter many years ago.' I say and look at him. Staring him in the eyes. He nods at me. Answering that he knows that.

'I can't be forgiven by that but I said my apologies to Roza. If she lets me I will spent the rest of my life making up for my mistakes.' He says. So he has said his apologies. Has she accepted those? Probably because she was with him when they were attacked.

'How do I know you are telling the truth?' I ask him. He has to give me more than only words. I am more a man of actions instead of words. He pulls a small box out his jacket and put it in front of me. I open it and look up at him in surprise.

In the little box is an engagement ring. It's a beautiful white gold ring with a red ruby. Something Rose would absolutely love. It's simple jet beautiful. Just like my daughter.

'I see. What will you do when it turns out she is paralyzed. For good?' I say to him. Wanting to know if he attend to take care of him.

'I… I don't know exactly. But maybe we can go live somewhere in the human world. Or with my family in Baia. I don't mind. I will spent the rest of my life taking care of her if that gives me a lifetime with her.' He says and I can see the desperation in his eyes.

'What about your guardian job?' I ask him. It's a disgrace for guardian to give up their job and live in the human world. And a great guardian as Dimitri? It would be a black page in the moroi world.

'I will give it up if I have to. She means more than my own life.' He says a little desperate to have me believe him. He doesn't know that I already believe him.

'You know that if you hurt her again, even for the smallest thing, you are dead right?' I ask very serious and bobs his head very serious. I smile a little at him and extend my hand to him. He takes it and shakes it. Like sealing a deal.

I want to tell him about my plans but I am interrupted by my phone. I take it out of my pocket and answer it.

_'__Abe Mazur.'_

'_Abe, you have to come back.'_

Adrian, very panicked. I jump up and motion Dimitri to do the same.

_'__What happened?'_

We start walking back to Rose's room.

_'__She, I don't know. I tried to heal her and then it happened.'_

Before I can answer another question we are already back at her room and she is sitting up in her bed. If she is sitting up what could be possibly wrong? Adrian and Christian have a very worried look on their faces and the doctors are roaming around Rose. Pulling buttons and asking her things.

When they finally give the final clear I motion Dimitri to go to her. Talk to her. He walks closer to her and grabs her hand. She looks at him with big eyes. He tries to kiss her head but she pulls back, almost afraid.

'Who are you?' she ask. She looks at Dimitri and then at me and Adrian and Christian. I stare at her for a moment before I turn to Adrian and Christian. Raising my brows, demanding answer.

'We don't know either but she can't remember anything.' Adrian answers.

**I've been thinking about finishing this story. I still have some ideas but I'm wondering if you want me to continue?  
Let me know and I will see what I can do for you. **


	14. Chapter 14

I sit on a chair in front of the large mirror in the bathroom. My fingers roam over my body, over the scars that telling the story of my life. But they are telling a story that I can't remember. I try to remember, anything. Without much success.

My name? Rose Hathaway. My story? It is just about to begin. People are telling me how lucky I am that I have a chance at a new life. They all look with pity when they say that I have been through so much but isn't it to me to tell if I have been through too much?

I have lost ten years of my life in one night. They say I am twenty-five but the last memory I have was when I was fifteen. I had this sleepover with Lissa and she was telling me all about the things that keep happening and that we should leave the academy. I told her that we couldn't and then she was about to begin her Lissa reasoning but I can't remember what she told me.

I try to remember what she told me because maybe when I do remember that little thing, I will remember the rest. I want to remember the rest. Lissa died, two years later, and I can't remember that. Mason died, two years later, before Lissa died. And I can't remember that. I lost two of my best friends.

When I woke up in the hospital two weeks had passed since my accident. Or, it wasn't really an accident but they keep calling it that. My father, Abe, Adrian, Christian and the big Russian Dimitri. How did I end up in a world surrounded with only guys?

I decided to come live with Abe in his mansion. They all offered a place for me to recover and to heal myself. Adrian said he could manage to get us a house at court where we could live but I don't want to live at court. Christian wanted to take me with him to live with him and Tasha but the Russian and Abe began to protest instantly. Even the Russian told me he wanted to take me. He told me his family lived in Russia and we could live with them.

I asked him what would be doing in Russia? He just smiled and told me to think about it. My body seems to betray me because my heart started to beat faster at the thought of living with him. He is handsome. Really, really handsome. But I don't want to live with a stranger in Russia.

And now? Now I live with a stranger, my father. But I am still in America. Not that I am not flattered that four different guys wants to live with me. Well, three, and my father.

First I wanted to go back to the academy but after being there two days I wanted to run as far as I could. Everyone seemed to recognize me and knowing what happened with me. Accept for me. I didn't and still don't know.

I still can't walk or move my legs fully but I have feeling in them. And with therapy and training I will be able to walk again. Some day in the future. Walk, dance, be a guardian. I want to go back to who I was. Train to be a guardian again. Protect my moroi. Whoever that is going to be.

But for the coming months I am stuck in my wheelchair in the Mazur mansion. Doing nothing, nothing and more of nothing. Soon it is summer vacation and that means that the big Russian, Dimitri, is coming.

He is calling me every day to ask me how I am doing. If I remember something and asking me if I need something. I can't remember him. Not a single thing about him. But he asks me those question and talks to me and I have this feeling that he meant so much to me once.

**It is a short chapter, I know. And I am sad to say that this was the final chapter of this story!  
But don't be sad because I decided to write a sequil to this story. Not sure when it is up but I will try to make it quick.  
And I will update this story so you know that the newest story is up.  
A big thank you for all your wonderful reviews, your lovely words and you support.  
Don't forget to review to this story and you can always follow me as a writer so you know when I post new story's.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Thank you all for reading/reviewing my story. I have loved all the reviews you gave me!**

**When you are reading this I have just put the sequel on fanfiction.**  
**I called the story Amor omnia vincit. It means Love conquers all.**  
**I hope you love/like it and you are going to read it.**


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